Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Motivation where for art thou?

So what is it with me? Why is it that motivation is the biggest issue with me? When I come home after work the last thing I wanna do is exercise. I want to get up bright and early in the morning for a jog up Ponsonby Rd and back again but becuase I have a grumpy boyfriend who doesnt like to be woken up so early I feel intimidated about planning getting up that early. So technically I should get out at night yet I dont. i come home and relax. I start on weight loss exercise stuff, and keep to it for 2 weeks at the most and then Im off the rails for one reason or another? WHY? I know alot of you will be answering with "She doesnt want to loose weight or get fit enough becuase if she did she would be sticking to it" Well I do. I am again at the size where I am embarrassed to be out in public. I am starting to wear baggy clothes again to work to hide what I am ashamed of. I am lacking in self esteem and things are starting to get harder for me again. Why is this not enough to force me to get active??? Do I need someone screaming down my neck to get me moving? Or do I just need to pull finger and stop being such a lazy lard arse?? Yes I think thats the one. Stop being so lazy. I so this countless times as you all would of noticed by now, well maybe my closest friends have stopped reading my blog becuase Im not entertaining enough (ouch). I cant stick to anything for more than 2 weeks. I wonder if I stuck to it for over the 2 weeks would that mean I would continue on the right path? My friend from work recently did makeup on me and her sister took photos of me all very professional but I looked at the photos and all I saw was a very fat chubby face. Despite her lovely "no you dont look fat you look beautiful and happy" thank you Mehwish thats sweet but who am I kidding its what girls say, we have some ingrown automatic supportive response to things. We girls know that hearing the truth yes hun you have put on weight and you do need to do something hurts us alot so we give the automatic reflexive reponse of Oh nooo you dont look fat at all. I love my friends as they have all been supportive with that automatic response and I first just want to let them know thank you before I tell them Bullshit. Sure Im not a hundred kg's or anything and heaven knows Im not morbidly obsese but have you seen my freaking belly lately? Its large, it protudes over the top of my freaking pants and I sit on my butt like the lard arse I am and complain about the lack of motivation I have. I love my friends and its very sweet of them to tell me my belly is not that big but girls maybe I need a reality check? Im sure as hell not doing it for myself. I want to loose 12.5kg - yes I weighed myself tonight as 72.5kg. The weight I NEED to loose 7kg to be outside being overweight with my BMI. Right now my BMI is 26 thats 3.9 away from being in the Obese range. Seriously, I gotta get my act together.
Im not making any promises, but I would like to loose 4kg in the next 10weeks. I hope I can at least achieve that before I head overseas and then I can work on more. I need to just be more active and just push myself. Please oh please I hope I can make it.
Wish me motivation
My Goal Weight 60kg
I was there once before I aim to do it again by the end of this year


  1. I know how the feeling /: lack of motivation bites.
    I got my motivation back by going to a local zumba class. sometimes I get ideas by watching susana's videos on bodyrocktv on youtube
    I still probably have about 5 kgs to lose though :)
    it takes about 3 weeks for you to get yourself into the habit of doing things like exercise/healthy eating/stopping smoking etc
    I hope you get your execise mojo back <3

  2. Thanks Vanessa :O) Yeah Im feeling a bit more motivated with all the comments from friends, its really just a matter of getting out there and doing it, I just need a good kick up the rear. I'll look into that Zumba thing in London, for now I have to work with what no money can get me. I'll check out that Susana Bodyrocktv thing too. 3 weeks, ok that has to be my goal, start them achievable, reach 3 weeks & maybe I can get somewhere.
    Mojo I will get you again soon :)

  3. Don't worry - the cost of food in London will see you dieting even if you didn't mean to!

  4. bugga, haa haa! Yeah I have been warned its expensive there.