NEWS FLASH: THE SCOTTISH DO TASTY WATER :o)
Title of blog really means nothing. Its just a saying from a website I found, where there's like a gazillion people who have it tattooed on them in various locations and styles. OK Go do it as a song but Im not sure exactly where its from. Its a bible verse, a song by Yolanda Adams and apparerntly by 311 as well. Both of which I have no idea who they are. Oh unless 311 are those guys that are Michael Jacksons nephews or something? Anyways sidetracked...... wait its my blog and I'll do it how I want.
Well so turns out Im going to read alot of books in London. With an hour and a half to work and then the same back again each day Im finding plenty time, plus my lunch break to read. Ok so this is a book I've been hanging out to read but I always find that I need to be in the mood to read as much as I love it. Dont know if its the book thats doing it or just the long journey. Either way I'm reading more which is good cuz it just is. I'm looking forward to finishing the book Im reading and then getting onto another 2 I have that I havent completed reading: The Passage by Justin Cronin and The Wise Man's Fear By Patrick Rothfuss. Using that Kobo so all is good.
NOW EXCERPTS FROM THE FASCINATING THINGS THAT GO ON INSIDE MY BRAIN
So this morning, I wanted to tell this guy that his wickedly blue and yellow crazy patterened jacket made me happy (obviously I wouldn't of dared telling him) as it was nice to see a splash of colour when all around me, everyone was rather meloncholy with the commute to work and the impending winter to arrive - we are all sour pusses when heading into work. Then as I was walking past Mr. Colourful he let out an almighty burp, so much so that I heard it over the music playing on my ipod, which wasnt quiet I might add, as trains in the underground can be rather noisey at times. I instantly retracted the thought of paying a compliment to someone and proceeded to my train. OK OK So I was never going to tell the guy, because what a weird arse line: 'Hey dude, you know what your jacket makes me happy' Freakazoid. I would of had the guts to tell him it was a nice jacket but alas the burp ruiened all. Nooooo he was not cute/good looking/hot AT ALL. Its just nice sometimes to recieve compliments from strangers and I've never been afraid to dish them out - well 4 times out of 10 anyways. Nor have I ever been shy of trying my best, in my weak and meek way, to put someone in their place, or say 'Your fly is down'.
Speaking of those such things, went out for a BBQ on Sunday with the Elements Crew - or those that actually turned up (Whom I've been doing the waitressing for). So sitting down at a table with some of the girls and we were chatting and having a few drinks and so on, when one of the girls needed to get up & in doing so needed to pass me. So I got up & turned around to see how many others had come to the BBQ. When I was confronted with Mr Arse Crack! I let Adelie past and turned back to the others commenting on it, as it was rather a large amount of hairy butt to be exposed to the world. This guy however was cute if not half dumb. All looks and no room for brain kinda guy. Anyways after a little while I couldnt bare it anymore, so when Adelie got up again to pass about an hour or so later I told the guy to pull up his pants he was showing his crack to the world! He sliently started pulling them up, but with a grin on his face. Then once done Dude who thought he was God's gift to woman (and would of been had their been a bit more than two thick planks between his ears), said 'Is this good?'all innocent like he was expecting me to melt or something. Couldnt do that buddy when I just saw how hairy your arse was (not that that's a big issue with me) & have been hearing you make exceptionally intelligent conversations with the hot girls who happen to be swooning over you. I felt guilty for embarrassing the guy, but could he not feel it with the door open to the back outside BBQ area and all the freezing cold wind coming in? Or maybe he thought it was hot? I havent got a clue.
So back to the moments after well dressed burp man. On the train waiting for its time to leave I find myself a seat, and while Im looking around out of boardom I notice a butch looking young man sitting across from me like 3 seats over. (Now before you hassle me, yes maybe I was looking to see if there was any eyecandy as well. London is full of good looking men, but alas this guy was not). This butch man was wearing himself a beautiful pink thin jersey over his business shirt and was in a nice pair of business pants, with shiny lovely business shoes. Wait a minute, why did you shift your hand buddy? Low and behold there was a massive hole (ok not that massive but larger than your average hole in pants, it was more of a massive as in too big to wear out type hole) in his pants between his legs. In this instant of him moving his hands, I honestly think he was not aware of the hole in said pants I might add, I discovered that he was wearing no boxer shorts & I could see side ball! Yeah side ball & it wasnt pretty. I wanted to look away folks, but it was so fascinating to think that he didn't he had this hole in his pants. Can he not feel that its turning to winter up here in London? Ok I admit I didnt look that long, but I know I looked a smidge longer than I should. He started to move and I freaked out I might see something more so quickly got out my book to proceed to read.
Sigghhhhh what a morning. Other intersting experiences I have had while here in London are: On my way out to the interview for where I am currently working, there was a gentleman (again with the guys, I know they appear to be the most entertaining) who was dressed all nice and tidy, get up from his seat as the next stop was approaching. As he stood myself, and a couple other passangers happened to notice that there was chewing gum stuck to the arse of his pants. While he was standing the gum was attached to both seat and pants, so started stretching and forming a lovely long bit of chewing gum. He kept walking away from the seat and the thing snapped off only to have this lovely bit of chewing gum string dangling from his arse which wobbeled as he swayed. He left the train and walked the platform with his new found attachement and for some reason I nor the others said anything to him about it. We all felt rather stink for not speaking up so next time I see something that needs attention like that I will be informing the person. Talk about bad karma. Mean Ri
And for my last interesting experience with a guy involved: I was waiting one day at the bus stop to head to Lewisham and whilst in my own world, even with headphones in, when an American Indian gentleman reeking of alcohol comes and sits down next to me as close as he can without being too close (in his eyes). He then proceeds to tell me he is from America, and when he hears me respond asks where Im from. NZ of course, but this only excites him (help!) and 'ohhhh ohhh I like New Zealand its like Amercia all pretty like'. Wow dude really I had no idea NZ was like Amercia in the slightest, have to disagree with you there, but thanks for saying its pretty - wonder how he would of been if I repsonded that way? As it was, I just responded with 'Ah haaaa, nice'. He then proceeded to natter on about other random things, all of which I nodded polietly at and smiled, all the while inching my way further down the seat away from him and his alcohol fumes. He proceeded then to say 'Hey pretty lady how come you wont be my girlfriend?' I broke his heart telling him I already had one hoping it would make him leave or at the very least shut him up. Nope didnt work. He then let me know that his wife kicked him out of home, he was supposed to meet up with her in some park, and rar de rar all the while sipping on a bottle of cider. He also tried to sell me a ring at one point for £6, but no thank you not interested, just stop inching closer to me while Im trying to inch away you freak. There was even an old lady who had been sitting on the seat and had gotten up to move away when she saw him approaching. Funniest thing was when her bus arrived, she jumped on and found a window where she looked at me with this look on her face saying 'I feel your pain, I hope he buggers off soon' lol! I think that look was the funniest thing of the whole situation. Eventually some big dude got out of a car not too far from the stop and amercian indian dude wobbeled his way over to him to try get some cash off him, but ended up getting the guy all revved up, was worried a fight would insue but car dude just went 'fuck it' and jumped back in his car and took off lol! American Indian then took his crooked way across the road to the pub and down to the next bus stop, maybe to try sell that ring to some other 'pretty lady'. All and all a wonderful smelly experience lol!
Oh thats the other things about London that Im getting used to, when you get on an overly crowed train to head home, its amazing how many people you are fortunate to stand next to who reek to high heaven and back again of alcohol. Those are probably the ones who swim in it or something but wow strong. Also the amount of people who smoke dope over here anywhere is well alot really. There is one guy who catches the same bus I do every morning into work, gets there around the same time. He has a little puff in the morning before the bus arrives. I've been out at a few pubs with the guys at pubs and the fumes waft down to wear your seated. Or your walking along and hello happy fumes. O well good on them, but I guess its just surprising seeing how strict they are on it back home I guess.
Anyways thats the end of it for now.
Until next time